The Last Temptation of Leliana
by KalenCaelli
Summary: Leliana knows what must be done, but can she find the courage to allow it to happen?


**Title: Last Temptation of Leliana**

**Rating: M**

**Canon: Fem Cousland/Leliana.**

**Disclaimers: I do not own Dragon Age. Well I do, but not the story. That belongs to Bioware. Artistic license was taken in parts. There are some references to love between two women. If that puts your pants in a wad, don't read it.**

**Author's Notes: I've made some edits to the story, to better reflect my perception of this particular group of characters. I also added extra spacing to make clear the distinction between POV, because for some reason this site does not like my formatting. Hope you'll like the changes. Thanks to all who read and review.**

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"You are a fool!" Morrigan spat at me venomously, her eyes filled with a mixture of loathing, disgust, and betrayal. I looked away, unwilling to meet her accusing glare. Those words stung – especially coming from Morrigan, with whom I'd developed a very real friendship over the course of the past year. No, not just friends – sisters. Her words, spoken in a moment of true appreciation when I'd delivered her mother's grimoire to her waiting hands.

_Sorry, sister._ _But I cannot do as you ask. Not this time._

I closed my eyes, barely resisting the urge to give in to her demands. The dreams had been plaguing me for months now. Even before I knew that a Grey Warden would have to be sacrificed, I had nightmares where my friends would be standing over my lifeless body –Leliana, Alistair, Wynne, and the others. It would be so easy to agree to the ritual – after all, who would know? Only the three of us would be involved. Alistair would never breathe a word to anyone – he would never admit to bedding Morrigan. Morrigan would never speak of it, for similar reasons, and would depart Denerim afterwards, as promised.

_Just do the ritual. Do you not deserve some happiness after all you have sacrificed?_

I clenched my fists in anger – this was reality, not a fairytale. In fairytales, the heroes slew the dragon, married the maiden, and rode off happily ever after into the sunset. This was real life, where heroes fought, bled, and frequently died.

As I would. For I knew I could never allow Alistair, Ferelden's next king, draw the final blow against the Archdemon. No, it would have to be me. I would have to slay the beast. And then my life would be forfeit.

I thought about Leliana. How was I supposed to explain this to her? She had already been unhappy when I told her about the Taint eventually consuming me. It had taken her nearly a day to calm down enough to talk with me about it. Now I would have to tell her I would die tomorrow. Unless I gave Morrigan what she wanted and had Alistair perform the blood ritual. A ritual that would leave the soul of the Archdemon intact and in the possession of a power-hungry mage. No one should have that kind of power. Not her. Not even me.

I opened my eyes and met Morrigan's own golden gaze. Behind the anger, the disgust, I could almost see another expression. Pleading, desperation. Why was she so intent on this course of action? Not that it mattered. I couldn't allow myself to be dissuaded on this, not even by her.

"I said no, Morrigan. That is my final answer," I spoke with more confidence than I truly felt.

Morrigan's eyes narrowed with barely contained rage and more than a fair share of disappointment. "I guess it is true, then," she said, the frustration and sadness seeping through. "You never did trust me. We've traveled together for a year now, and you still think my motives..."

"Morrigan," I interrupted her, before she could hurl more hurtful accusations. "I wouldn't give my own mother what you just asked for. But I did not lie to you." I took a step closer to her, reaching out and trying to touch her hand. She jerked away, her features growing cold and indifferent. A protective mechanism, I knew, but one she had mastered.

_Sister, please._ I begged her silently, feeling my frustration build. She seemed near her breaking point, her hand fluttering dangerously close to her staff, and my hand drifted instinctively to my sword, in case she decided to try to strike out at me.

She did not, however; instead turning and storming out of the room. She slammed the door so loudly that the walls shook.

I let out a sigh, turning and staring into the flickering light of the fire. Dark thoughts crept across my mind, and for the first time since I left Highever, I felt the bitterness of despair take hold.

I drew my sword, and with a loud cry I flung it at the wall, the sound of the clanging metal echoing in the otherwise silent room. I punched the wall with my armored fist, an anguished cry escaping my throat.

_This is not fair!_ I continued to punch at the wall, the stone unyielding against my steel gauntlet. Each jolt sent a sharp jab of pain up my arm – a welcome sensation that mirrored the rage I felt against the burden that had been placed on my shoulders. _Why would Duncan withhold this vital piece of information from us? Damn him. Damn the Grey Wardens.  
_  
I spun around, grabbing a vase off the table and flinging it into the roaring fire. The sound of the breaking glass was oddly comforting, and I reached down to the table upon which it had rested, upending it with a sense of grim satisfaction.

_Damn the Archdemon. Damn this cursed burden. Damn it all!_

My fingers closed around the back of a chair, and I flung it against the wall, the sound of the wood splintering granting me satisfaction. In my rage, I did not hear the sound of the door opening. It wasn't until the footsteps were nearly behind me that I noticed the silent intruder. Morrigan had returned, I assumed, intent on persuading me to her cause.

"Damn you, Morrigan. I told you no!" I spun around, hand outstretched, intending to deliver the previously withheld blow against the mage. Reflex kicked in, however, palm stopping just shy of a pair of azure eyes, which were widened in shock and fear.

_Leliana._

"I..." Speech left me as I regarded her frightened expression, realizing that I had come within a hairsbreadth of doing something I would have truly regretted.

"Alexis," the lilting Orlesian accent was a soothing balm to my rage. "What is going on? Why did Morrigan storm out of the castle? Did it have something to do with your meeting with Riordan?" I could not miss the hurt in her voice – as she had specifically been ordered by the senior Warden to leave the meeting room. I had no choice but to agree – Riordan had made it clear that such secrets were only for Warden ears. Of course, he had no way of knowing Leliana would coax the details out of me later. I'd long ago given up trying to keep secrets from my bard.

Leliana's eyes darted between my face and my outstretched palm, and I let my arm drop limply to my side as I felt my will crumple. I slumped against the wall, my body unwilling to support my own weight.

"Leliana, I..." My voice trailed off. How do I explain my conversation with Morrigan? I could not lie to her. Leliana had always been able to tell when I was shielding her from the truth – years of training in the royal courts of Orlais had prepared her for detecting even the slightest hint of deception.

The news would crush her. Leliana and I had spoken often of our plans for the future, after the Archdemon was destroyed. We had dreamed of journeying throughout Ferelden and to places beyond. Never once had we spoken of parting ways – our bond had grown too strong.

I let out a sigh, privately saying a quick prayer to the Maker to protect me from Leliana's fiery temper until I could explain fully.

"Riordan told us something that neither Alistair nor I knew," I said slowly. "He told us how to defeat the Archdemon." I studied her expression carefully, relieved when her features relaxed. So far, this conversation was proceeding well.

"Is that all?" Her blue eyes relaxed, the faintest curl of a smile crossing her features. "Slaying the Archdemon 101? Why didn't you just say so?"

I didn't speak. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the playful expression on her face. There was nothing I loved more than seeing Leliana smile. Her entire face would light up with this child-like enthusiasm and she would get the cutest dimples around the corners of her mouth. Conversely, there was nothing I hated more than seeing her in pain – her shoulders would slump and eyes redden from unshed tears. She would move about the campsite as if her very soul had left her – it reminded me too much of the weeks after we'd met Marjolaine in Denerim, and I had no desire to repeat such an occurrence.

Picking up on my hesitation, Leliana's smile slowly faded, her light gaze growing serious as she searched my face for answers. "So what did Riordan have to say? And why was Morrigan in _our room_?" An emphasis on the last two words, Leliana's tone grew a touch colder. My bard had a possessive streak a mile wide, and the animosity between her and the mage was well-known. "Or perhaps you could tell me why you are destroying our room," she continued, cool eyes appraising the upturned furniture and shattered glass.

I let out a sigh, my shoulders slumping. "Leliana, do you know any stories of the Grey Wardens who slew the Archdemon in past Blights?" I directed my gaze to the floor, knowing that if I looked into her eyes as I shared the unpleasant news my resolve would falter and I'd be chasing after Morrigan as fast as my legs could take me.

"Of course," Leliana frowned, a bit confused at the unexpected question. "All bards know these stories – and there are several variations on each of them. Why do you ask?"

"Do any of those stories involve their lives after the Blight?" I asked, unable to keep my voice from wavering. I closed my eyes tightly. Where in the name of the Maker had my courage gone?

A lengthy silence filled the room as the bard searched her memory for such a story. "Well, no," Leliana admitted, and I could almost visualize the wheels begin to turn in her head.

_Tell her now. She deserves to hear it from you, rather than another – or Maker forbid, Alistair._

"Leliana..." I lifted my head, forcing myself to meet her guarded gaze. "When a Grey Warden slays the Archdemon, the soul of the demon tries to inhabit the body of the closest person who bears the Taint. The Grey Warden dies because the soul of the Archdemon cannot share the body with another soul. They are both destroyed."

Leliana took a step back, her eyes registering the shock, and then the horror of the revelation. "But Riordan..."

"Offered to do the job," I said. "But if for some reason he falls in battle..." I let my voice trail off, leaving the words unspoken. _It has to be me. _My gaze never left hers, knowing the words would be damning.

"Then Alistair..." Leliana's voice was weaker, filled with desperation.

"Is the king," I said softly, reaching out with a hand towards Leliana. I desperately needed to feel her touch now, to have her arms wrap around me in comfort. "And he needs to remain the king. Anora's imprisonment is too fresh. The loss of King Maric's sole surviving heir could throw Ferelden into civil war."

"No!" Leliana's eyes grew wild as she began to back away from me. "You promised me that when this was all over we would be together. You promised," her voice rose to a fevered pitch. "You promised!"

"I didn't know that one of us was going to have to die!" I argued, anger rising at her sudden withdrawal. Did she honestly believe I wanted this? I hadn't asked for the burden of being a Grey Warden any more than I had wished to leave my family in Highever. "Do you think I am happy about this?"

"What was Morrigan doing here?" Leliana's asked sharply, her astute gaze leveling on mine. "Surely not expressing her condolences? Or did you think it more important to inform her of the news before coming to find me?"

"Morrigan made me an offer," I retorted angrily, my eyes narrowing as I pushed up from my position against the wall, moving closer to her. "She knew this entire time that one of us would die and she offered to do a ritual to save our lives."

Leliana took a step away from me, clearly taken aback by this revelation. "What type of ritual?" She asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

I threw my hands up in the air, exasperated. "Does it really matter, Leliana? She wants to sleep with Alistair and conceive his child. This child would be born with the Taint. Then when one of us kills the Archdemon, the demon's soul would seek out the child's soul instead of the Warden's."

Leliana pursed her lips together, processing the information. "The child would die, then?"

I shook my head. "Morrigan doesn't think so. She thinks the two souls will be able to co-exist. Does it really matter, Leliana? It's a forbidden ritual, blood magic."

Leliana turned away, staring into the fire silently. A lone tear, then another, slipped down her cheek silently. I glanced away, my own chest heaving in frustration and rage. After a moment, I came up behind her, placing my hand on her shoulder. I pleaded silently for her to understand, my heart sinking she jerked away.

"Why didn't you do it?" Leliana's voice was hard, accusing.

I blinked several times, unable to believe what I was hearing. Did she honestly want me to take Morrigan up on her offer? "Are you insane?" The words slipped from my mouth before I could censor them.

She flinched at the carelessness of my accusation – an accusation I know she had heard many times before, first by her sisters in the Chantry, and then by others in our own party. I winced internally. _Bad choice of words, Warden._

"You have always defended Morrigan to the others, including me," Leliana's eyes narrowed to slits, her voice dangerously low. "Why now do you change your mind?"

"Because she lied!" There it was, the damnable truth. Leliana knew it as well as I did. My own pride kept me from accepting Morrigan's offer. I had defended her for so long to our companions – against Alistair and Wynne and even Leliana – who all had believed her motives less than altruistic. But I had stubbornly defended her, choosing to believe her story that she had no knowledge of why her mother had sent her with us.

Except it wasn't quite true. If I was honest with myself, I had always known she had her own reasons for joining us. But I had welcomed her help – pushing aside my reservations. She had, after all, helped save my life at Ostagar, and had followed my lead even when she didn't agree with my decisions. And I had meant it when I'd called her friend.

But had she really ever been my friend? Or had she been playing me the entire time?

"And what of us?" Leliana's words seemed too loud against the deathly silence of my self-pity. "Do we not deserve at least a chance at happy ending?"

I turned away, fighting down angry tears. I could not bring myself to answer Leliana's pointed question, because the truth was I wanted my happy ending as much as she did. I was scared of dying, of leaving my friends and family behind. More than anything else, I wanted to take Leliana and leave Ferelden and forget the Blight and the duty that had fallen on my shoulders.

_The duty that cannot be foresworn._

Damn Duncan and his duty.

Wynne had warned me that my relationship with Leliana could hurt us both. She had cautioned me that there might one time come a day when I would have to send Leliana away. I turned away, staring into the fire, feeling the hopelessness begin to set in

Leliana did not speak again. But the sound of the door opening and closing convinced me that all was lost.

I had never believed Wynne's words would prove true.

* * *

I ran down the castle corridors and out the front gate, nearly blinded by my own tears. I moved swiftly, for I knew I would have to travel fast to reach my target.

_She's been lying to us this whole time._

If anything, the pain I had seen in Alexis' eyes spurned me to move faster. I could feel hatred beginning to build in me in a way I had never felt before – not even when Marjolaine had betrayed me to the Orlesian guards. The pain grew, red-hot radiating from the center of my chest, radiating outward until it threatened to consume me.

_She knew. She KNEW._

We all had given so much to fight the Darkspawn. But this was too much. Ever since I was a little girl, I had dreamed of spending the rest of my days with my soul mate. It was a childish dream, but it was my dream, one I had carefully guarded in the deepest part of my heart.

My dreams had already been shattered once. When Marjolaine had betrayed me, I thought I had lost everything. Only the kindness of a Chantry sister had given me hope during that dark time. Later, I found faith and hope in the teachings of Andraste, allowing myself to hope once more that, I would be fortunate enough to find love. Perhaps I was a fool, but I had envisioned the years I would spend with Alexis, the love that we would share. I had resigned myself to the shortened time we would have before the Taint called her to the Deep Roads. I hadn't yet told her this, but it was my intent that when that day came, I would join her.

That didn't matter now.

The night seemed so dark and the scant light of the moon made it nearly impossible to find the path ahead. It took all my tracking skills I had learned as a bard to find Morrigan's faint trail. After what seemed like a small eternity, I heard the faint sounds of the trees and bushes moving. It was Morrigan, of this I was certain. I sped up my pursuit, though it was scarcely possible for me to move any faster that I had already been.

The movement had stopped now, and I arrived at a small clearing to find Morrigan waiting for me with a mixture of annoyance and disdain. "Just what..."

I punched her.

I have never punched anyone in my life, though there had certainly been times I have wanted to. Marjolaine had taught me the finer points of dagger play, generally eschewing hand-to-hand combat as crude and inefficient. A bard was to manipulate the target, lull them into complacency, then slip the dagger in quickly before the target could be made aware of the deception.

I felt a dull sense of satisfaction as my fist impacted the side of Morrigan's face, who staggered back from the force of the blow, the shock evident on her features. She recovered quickly though, and I saw the spell forming in her hand an instant before she threw it. I narrowly escaped the flame, which impacted a nearby tree and set it alight.

"How could you?" I screamed, pulling a small dagger out of my boot and charging the mage. "We traveled together, we trusted you. Why would you use us in this manner? How could you do that to her?"

Morrigan flung another spell and this one hit me in center in my chest. I let out a small cry as the flames overtook me, setting my tunic ablaze. Morrigan smirked, confident in her superior abilities, and I used that distraction to fling the dagger at her. Morrigan's expression changed to one of shock as the dagger sailed towards her chest, and she narrowly dodged the deadly blade. I smiled in satisfaction as the dagger cut across her unprotected bicep. I hit at the flames on my tunic, which quickly died now that the mage was distracted. Morrigan clutched her upper arm, kneeling as she regarded me with an expression of pure hatred.

"It is your fault," Morrigan hissed at me. "If you hadn't insisted on joining us at Lothering – if you hadn't insisted on pursuing a relationship with her, she would have seen reason and taken my offer."

"How could you even think about making her an offer like that?" I retorted angrily. "Do you know how hard this has been on her?"

"Better than you, I wager," Morrigan spat out bitterly, pushing herself to her feet. The wound on her bicep closed, invisible strings drawing it together as the mage's grip on her wand tightened. "I was there at Ostagar – while you were safely hidden away from the danger in your precious Chantry. It was my mother and I who rescued her from the Tower of Ishal. I was there from the beginning, unlike you, who somehow managed to manipulate your way into our merry little band."

Morrigan threw out a hand, sending a bolt of lightning arching towards my chest, and I lunged behind the trunk of a large tree, which groaned and crackled at the abuse it had undergone. I whispered a prayer that it would not fall on me – at least until I had finished the task at hand. I reached down and grabbed a pair of small throwing daggers out of my boots – I kept several on hand for such situations. I launched one blindly at the spot I knew where Morrigan had stood, using it as a distraction as I pushed out from my spot behind the tree, launching the second one in the direction the mage had stepped to evade what she would have believed to be a clumsily placed shot.

Morrigan let out a curse as she narrowly evaded the second dagger, sending a cone of icy tendrils towards the spot where I was standing. I leapt away from the deadly spell, which would have frozen me solid had I allowed it to hit me, but missed the ball of lightning that the cone had hidden. I felt the wind knocked out of me as it hit my body, causing my teeth to clamp shut and every muscle in my body to seize. I landed roughly on the ground, frozen in time as I tried to will my protesting muscles into action.

Morrigan was approaching me now, stalking me like a cat does its prey. The witch knelt down beside my head, her golden eyes flashing angrily. For a moment I knew fear – Morrigan and I were evenly matched in ranged combat – though I was a far superior fighter at close range. But I had underestimated her, and now I was helpless until the spell wore off.

"Before you came along she had purpose," Morrigan said. "Her hatred of Loghain and her desire to seek vengeance upon Howe consumed her thoughts. Then you came along and filled her mind with foolish thoughts of love and honor. Before you came along she was practical, willing to do what was needed to fulfill her duty." Morrigan's hand closed around the hilt of my second belt dagger, drawing it slowly from the protective sheath.

_Maker, protect me. _

"You filled her mind with foolish notions of love, and she became weak," Morrigan's eyes flashed as she pressed the point of the dagger against my throat, not hard enough to break skin, but enough to assure my attention.

My lips were tingling at this point, feeling begin to return to my fingers and toes. I could still not move most of my body, but at least I could speak.

"There is still hope," I said weakly. "If Riordan can kill the Archdemon..."

"Riordan will never make it to the final battle with the Archdemon." Morrigan cruelly ground out. "Flemeth foresaw this. Either Alistair or Alexis will have to perish to kill the Archdemon. And your precious Alexis know this. She's been having these nightmares for months. She may not have understood them, but deep down she always knew she would not survive."

Feeling was beginning to return to my arms, and with a mighty push I knocked the knife out of Morrigan's hand, swinging forward with my head and catching the mage squarely on her nose, grimly noting with satisfaction the sound of popping bones that surely meant her nose had been broken. I pushed her away from me, flinging her far away and rolling over, grabbing the knife with a weakened grip. Though I could not quite feel my feet yet, I willed myself to stand on unsteady legs, my attention focused solely on my opponent, who was cursing, her hand protectively cupping her nose against the flow of blood which now poured from it.

"I have done nothing but offer my love and support to a woman who bears a burden that none of us can possibly understand," I argued bitterly.

"Is that what you're doing here?" Morrigan snapped angrily, her hands dropping in front of her, a swirling ball of flame beginning to form. "Offering your love and support? I, at least, tried to give her a fighting chance. It is your fault that she is too weak of will to do what must be done. You might as well have plunged the knife in yourself."

Morrigan's words unleashed something in me that I have never felt. It was as if I was one of the Darkspawn myself, so furiously did I launch myself at Morrigan, screaming and yelling. Morrigan fought back, for we were evenly matched in skill. I brought my dagger to bear, drawing back my hand just as she was lifted her own palm, a swirling mass of dark energy visible in her palm.

I braced myself for the final killing blow, knowing that neither of us would survive this night, when a gust of wind so powerful I thought for a moment it might have come from the Maker himself swept us off our feet and flung us nearly twenty feet into a copse of nearby bushes.

"You both should be ashamed of yourselves, fighting this way on our eve of battle. Especially you, Leliana, unless your claims of wanting to protect Ferelden from the Blight meant nothing to you," Wynne's stern voice rang out across the clearing. "And you, Morrigan..." Wynne's voice dropped to a dangerously low octave. "Leave. You will leave Ferelden tonight. And if I find that you have tried to interfere with the final battle..."

"You'll what, old woman?" Morrigan scrambled to her feet. I could see her struggling to steady herself, clearly disoriented.

The look Wynne gave her could have melted steel. I had always sensed a great strength, a presence within the older mage that belied her serene demeanor. Now though, she radiated fire and ice, the crashing ocean waves and the steadfastness of the earth. It occurred to me that we had all had vastly underestimated the older woman, particularly  
Morrigan, who viewed the Circle's narrow worldview as a cumbersome burden.

I watched the silent exchange, trying to make sense of it all through the ringing in my ears and the throbbing of my head. For a moment, I thought Morrigan might make a stand. But almost as abruptly as the exchange began, it ended. Morrigan leaned down, taking a hold of her staff and disappearing into the dark of night.

I felt Wynne's disapproving glare level upon me, and I shirked back. Shame filled me, my cheeks turning a dark red, tears filling my eyes with remorse. Wynne was right, of course. I should be ashamed of myself. What was my happiness against the thousands of innocent lives that would be saved once the Archdemon was defeated?

"I..." I tried to speak, to apologize, but a sob escaped my throat and I lowered my head in disgust. Wynne's expression softened, and in a moment she had crossed the clearing; motherly arms enveloping me in a comforting hug. I sobbed into the folds of her robes, mourning the loss I would soon endure. For I knew Morrigan spoke the truth regarding Flemeth's vision. Riordan would not survive the upcoming battle. My own dream of the Blight had confirmed it. In my dream, I had been powerless to stop the tide of darkness that enveloped the world. I did not fully understand the dream back then. But I did now.

That realization caused the tears to return anew, and I sobbed quietly into Wynne's robes until my eyes were so swollen and puffy from my tears I must have looked a sight. At last, when the tears were spent, I felt Wynne press a cool palm against my forehead, chanting softly. The aches and bruises from my earlier battle with Morrigan faded, as  
did my reddened eyes and stuffy nose. The pain in my heart, however, still remained.

"She needs your strength, Leliana. Especially now. Go to her. Spend your remaining hours together. Life is far too fleeting to squander in unkind words and bruised feelings."

I nodded weakly. Wynne was right. I pressed my lips against her cheek in gratitude, turning and racing to the castle as fast as I could.

* * *

My tears were spent, my heart was heavy with misery. I regarded the fire apathetically, Leliana's words parting words ringing in my ears. She was right, of course. How could I have been so foolish to turn down Morrigan's offer? She offered a reasonable alternative, a chance to survive the upcoming battle. What did it matter if the soul of the Archdemon was not truly destroyed? I would have stopped the Blight. Isn't that all anyone had ever asked?

I heard the door open and I turned abruptly, expecting to see Alistair or possibly Riordan at the door, wanting to discuss last minute preparations. I did not expect to see Leliana, hair mussed, chest heaving, staring at me with what could only be described as a primal  
expression.

"Leliana?" I would have spoken more, but in that instant I was driven forcefully to the wall, her lips pressed firmly against mine, demanding, needy. I felt myself melt into her arms, kissing her with renewed passion, my soul crying for the contact in a way I had never known.

Leliana drew back, her eyes wet with unshed tears. "Forgive me for my selfishness," she whispered softly. "I was wrong to ask you to behave in such a manner."

"But..." I began to protest, only to feel the cool touch of Leliana's fingertips against my lips.

"I was wrong, Alexis. To allow the Archdemon to live, in whatever form, is unacceptable. Can you forgive me, my love? And do not apologize. You did only what your heart told you was right."

I felt tears spring to my eyes as my heart filled with love for this woman. "I swear to you Leliana, that if there is any way..."

Leliana brushed her lips against mine. "If Riordan lives, then I know you will allow him the final blow. But if he does not, then I know you will do your duty as a Grey Warden." A lone tear escaped the corner of her eye, slipping down her cheek. "I would ask no less."

My heart swelled with pride for this woman who, in the face of losing all she held dear, would choose to remain with me to the bitter end.

I kissed her hungrily, greedily, my own tears mingling with hers as we hurriedly undressed each other, desperate for that final bit of closeness before the darkness of dawn arose.

Our coupling was rough, though still passionate - filled with knowing, practiced touches and desperate clinging. It was a night filled with lips, and teeth, and tongues. Of the saltiness of tears mixed with sweat. Of cries of passion mixed with tears of grief.

We did not sleep that night, so intent were we of spending those final moments together that we scarcely noticed the passage of time until the smell of fires and burning trees finally brought us up. We made our way to the window, staring at a sky thick with clouds of smoke and the smell of rotting flesh.

"And so it begins," I murmured softly, meeting Leliana's eyes with my own. "I should..."

"We will do this together," she interrupted, her expression resolute. "Do not think to try to leave me behind while you go off to battle the Archdemon."

I nodded, drawing her into a tight hug, my lips pressing against her forehead. "We do this together."

We remained like that for a few moments, standing in the dim light of the blackened sky, until a sharp knock on the door drew us out of the moment.

"Forgive me, my lady." The voice of one of the palace servants rang through the closed door. "But I was told to summon you. It is time."

Leliana looked at me, her expression resolute, and she nodded.

"I will be there shortly," I called to the servant, listening to the sounds of footsteps run off. I turned and looked at Leliana, absently brushing the tips of my fingers against her cheek. "We should dress," I said softly. "It will not be much longer."

"Allow me to help you," Leliana said softly. "It is an old tradition in Orlais, when a warrior departs for battle, for their beloved to help them prepare."

I regarded Leliana silently for a moment, regarding the absolute determination in her eyes. Maker, how I loved this woman.

* * *

I stepped behind my warrior, laying my eyes on the soft skin of her back, drinking in the sight. I pressed my lips against the battle-scarred skin, blinking back the tears that threatened my eyes. I reached for the padded gambeson she wore underneath her armor and rested it gently on her shoulders, my fingers deftly buckling the straps into place, tightening the cinch so the padding wouldn't move.

I reached down to her breastplate, marveling at its weight in my hand. Maker, she moved so easily with it on – but the piece itself was so heavy it took two hands to lift it.

"By all that is holy," I gasped, scowling slight at the smirk on my lover's face as I hefted the torso piece over her shoulders. "I will never understand how you fight in this." I myself used a lightweight padded armor that kept my arms free to wield either bow or dagger. The armor of a warrior was far too cumbersome for me.

Alexis shrugged her shoulders, rotating them as the heavy plating slid unto place. I finished buckling the straps on the breastplate, allowing my fingers to linger over the buckles and the pieces, committing them to memory.

The leg plates were next, followed by the gauntlets. I pressed my lips to the inside of her wrist after I adjusted the straps of the latter, feeling the skip in her pulse point. A tear slid down my cheek, realizing that this could very well be one of the last times I ever performed this simple action. It fell against her glove, and she lifted a finger, brushing it against my cheek.

"Leliana..."

I looked up, regarding Alexis' earnest expression and shook my head. She fell silent, but her eyes filled with uncertainty. I reached down, grabbing her helmet. I brushed my thumbs across its cool surface, marveling at its shine. I turned and faced Alexis.

"Can you kneel?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't detect the waver in my voice. Alexis regarded my features curiously, but dropped to one knee on the ground.

I let my eyes close momentarily, remembering the old words. After a moment, I opened my eyes, regarding her with bright eyes, trying my best to project all the love I felt into that gaze. "Warrior, you are hereby charged with defending this land from the Blight. May the Maker watch over you and protect you. May he guide you on your path to victory," I paused, swallowing thickly, "and guide you to his side should you fall."

I placed the helmet on her head, tracing my fingertips along the cool surface of the metal, allowing it to trail along her cheek. There were no more words to say. Instead I tried to project as much love and affection as I could into my features.

"Rise, my love. Embrace your destiny."

* * *

_Denerim, later..._

I knelt beside Riordan's still body, grimacing as I reached out a pair of fingers and closed his still opened eyes. If it weren't for the armor, I'd have scarcely recognized him.

I could hear the soul shattering scream of the Archdemon from atop Fort Drakon, and I glanced up wearily. The forced march from Redcliffe had not been easily, and it seemed as if the day's battle had lasted a small eternity.

The full weight of the responsibility had shifted to my shoulders. I dared not look at Leliana. I did not want to see the despair I knew would be in her gaze.

Alistair came up beside me, his expression filled with remorse. "He was a good man," Alistair said quietly. "You know..."

"Don't say it," I said quietly. "You know that you have to rule."

"I do not want to rule." Alistair said, a bit petulant.

"Which is why it must be you," I responded. "Anora is Loghain's daughter. And she is hungry for power. Do you honestly believe she is the best person for the job?"

Alistair frowned. "Well, no. But..."

"Enough," Wynne interjected. "We must hurry. The Archdemon will not wait."

* * *

When we came upon Riordan's body, it felt as though my heart was rendered in two. It was as if my worst nightmares had come to fruition. Morrigan's words rang in my head.

_Riordan will never make it to the final battle with the Archdemon. Flemeth foresaw this._

I stared at Alexis' back, watching the tension in her shoulders. She was exhausted, and I could scarcely blame her. The march from Redcliffe had been frantic – as soon as it had been realized that the bulk of the Darkspawn horde would be marching on Denerim, it had been a hurried scramble to try to gather enough forces to take back the city.

Alistair walked beside up her, murmuring something to her in low terms. I knew what he was saying, just as I knew her response to him. I closed my eyes, fighting back tears.

_Either Alistair or Alexis will have to perish to kill the Archdemon._

Wynne finally stepped in, interrupting the arguing Wardens. Alistair glared at the older mage, finally turning away.

"Let's go," Alexis said, resigned. She did not look at me as she headed towards the entrance of the fortress.

_... And your precious Alexis know this. She's been having these nightmares for months. She may not have understood them, but deep down she always knew she would not survive._

* * *

_Several hours later..._

The beast was beginning to slow. Each time it was struck, it responded a fraction slower. Its movements were becoming more hampered.

I swung with both arms, my shield having long ago been torn from my arms. I felt the splash of hot blood against my breastplate. The Archdemon roared in rage, turning towards me and pinning me with an angry stare. The beast roared again, the scent of its breath putrid. I screamed back driving the point of my blade upward, aiming for a soft spot on its neck.

The beast reared back, my point of my blade missing the Archdemon's neck by a fraction of an inch. It lashed out with a foot, catching the point of my blade and sending it sailing away. I began to scoot away on my hands and knees, but the ground was thick with blood and it was difficult to move. The Archdemon eyed me, and I could see the triumph in its eyes. It had me, and it knew it. I could see it raise its forelimb back in what I knew would be a lethal blow.

* * *

When I saw Alexis fall, I felt my heart nearly jump out of my chest. I quickly raised my bow, quickly leveling an arrow at the belly of the beast just as it drew back for a killing blow.

I did not hesitate, though I knew in releasing that arrow I risked everything in that one shot. I let the arrow fly, watching as it pierce the unprotected belly of the Archdemon. I aimed for its heart, while my own thudded loudly in my chest when it buried itself completely into the creature. The Archdemon let out a howl of pain, falling back onto its side. I ran towards Alexis, ignoring Wynne's calls as I raced to her side. I arrived a moment before Alistair, sliding to a stop against her side, ignoring the pain that erupted in my knees at the rough ground.

"Alexis, are you alright?" I placed my hands on either side of her helmet and stared into her eyes.

* * *

The familiar feel of Leliana's palms against my cheeks shook me from the shock of seeing Leliana's arrow lodge itself into the belly of the Archdemon. I had been bracing myself for the pain of death, when the arrow itself sailed over my head and landing into the unprotected belly of the beast, one of the few spots where the Archdemon lacked scales to protect itself.

I stared into the light green gaze of my lover, her concerned expression nearly shaking my resolve. I pressed my lips against her lips, not caring that we were in the middle of a battlefield. Not caring that Alistair was there. I reached out to her, drawing her into my arms, pouring every ounce of love and compassion I had into the kiss.

I could feel Leliana nearly collapse against me, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks as she returned the kiss with equal fervor.

The roar of the Archdemon forced me to break the kiss, a bitter reminder that the battle was far from over. I turned and glanced once more into Leliana's eyes. "I love you," I said softly. "I'll always love you."

A choked sob escaped Leliana's throat and before I could lose my nerve, I pushed to my feet, giving Alistair a steely glare when he opened his mouth to protest. He closed it abruptly. I threw my arms around him, hugging him fiercely, one of my oldest and  
dearest friends.

"You don't have to do this," he said, his voice choked.

"Take care of her, please." I said urgently, pulling away before he could convince me to change my mind. I turned once more, pressing my lips against Leliana's forehead.

And then I ran.

I grabbed my sword as I sped to the Archdemon, yelling above the din of the battle. My allies continued to rain terror upon the beast, which lashed out still despite being nearly incapacitated. Its long, whipcord tail took put a string of Elven archers. It turned and glared at me as I ran towards it, challenging me with its cruel stare.

_Take me, Warden,_ it seemed to say. _But I will destroy you._

I reached the Archdemon, and thrust the tip of my blade into the underbelly of its neck, racing along as I pulled the blade through flesh and bone, putting all of my force behind the action. The Archdemon flailed as I jumped on its back, raising my sword high.

I spared one last final glance at Leliana, who was clinging to Alistair in a death grip, her eyes filled with a mixture of emotions. Yes, there was incredible pain there. But there was something else. Pride.

I love you, my mind whispered as I thrust the blade into the demon's neck.

A most incredible pain coursed through my body, seeming to sear every nerve ending as I clung to the pommel of my sword. I almost lost the grip on my sword, so intense was the power trying to separate me from it.

A flash of light, as I could feel my mind begin to shatter.

Then, nothingness.


End file.
